Personal Rambling: 2004 Archives

Sometimes it is difficult to capture something juuuuuust how it looks through your eyes. Fifi was modeling her new wig from CanCan, (many thanks to Unkie Paul and Priss for sharing your beauty secrets!) and this is my view of her from the couch.

Fifi still strikes me dumb with her confectionary beauty sometimes. Mwowr. She's also sporting her new #11 AR eyes I finally found! I love them, very dark, almost black, red-wine purple. I will have to try to photograph them so they shine.

I've been loath to post all week. The news of the tsunami struck me dumb. Perhaps I'm too easily affected, but the scope of the devastation breaks my heart.

I've sent a bunch of money to Doctor's Without Borders today. I have that horrid sinking feeling that the tragedy hasn't yet fully unfolded. Thanks to Blackjack for putting it into perspective.

Woohoo 2004! Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.

Indecent. My ass. GO AWAY.

[so. mad.]

I swear. That was one of the most beautiful pieces of theater I've ever seen on the idiot box. Ever.

As if I weren't pissed off enough. It is shit like this that makes me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I shouldn't say "America" though I guess. Because it is a tiny minority who is trying to shove their puny little shriveled raisin values down the rest of us decent folks' throat.

To refresh: According to Mediaweek, 99.9 percent of "indecency" complaints to the FCC came from one group -- the Parents Television Council. This completely hijacked the process of viewer complaints, which in turn drove FCC Chairman Michael Powell to tell Congress people were outraged (except only a select, censorship-prone group really were), and the chilling effect of politicians being riled up was felt immediately in Hollywood.

Btw, sweet engineer guy just came into my office and said Mitten as evil & cute!

Evil? *sniff*

It just might have a chance! The SF supes have surprisingly approved the bid to rename the Bay Bridge "The Emperor Norton Bridge"...

[Read the article]

Now they just have to get Oakland to approve. Do they have any sense of humor or history? Sheesh.

For those who don't know, Emperor Norton is a beloved SF eccentric who declared himself "Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico" in the nineteenth century. He was humored by citizens and government alike, and famously minted his own money and issued a series of proclamations.

Read here for more info...

On a sidenote: I deboxed Mitten last night. Ohmigosh. MITTEN! She is so much more than I expected. I, um... brought her into the office with me this morning. Eeep! She's sitting on my monitor in her blue coat and cap.

Gudrun appropriated the slavic costume and looks FAB in it. I'll have to take group shots this weekend.

O! I'm upgrading and testing to see if anything is broken. La di da!

Mr. Kallisti making me fancy kiwi cocktails, and playing Fatal Frame 2 in tandem. I love my life.

This game makes me scream and throw the contoller across the room. Let's see if I get any better. But it is definately one of the most beautiful things I've watched. Man.

Which hasn't always been the case. Like seafood, I was once allergic to Christmas. A lot of it was because I used to work retail. And people are just evil when shopping during the holidays. I would work twelve exhaustive evil hours on Christmas eve, and then hurl at the thought of "celebrating" something every angry young heathen opposes on principal anyway.

Some time in my late twenties I rediscovered the christmas tree. And bright sparkly ornaments. And creepy santas. And over the years I've reclaimed the holiday for myself. I love the smell of the tree, and roasting a turkey in my tiny apartment size stove. Last year Mr. Kallisti and I celebrated our first Christmas together and it was sublime.

So. We got up early and went and picked up our christmas tree. Yip! Last year we bought grab bags of olde ornaments at Thrift Town in The City for $3 a bag. Lots of crap but got a lot of gems too. So we actually have a bunch of ornaments already.

Also. Mr. Kallisti's mother sent three huge boxes full of presents. Some wrapped, some old heirlooms she wanted us to have. Like old victorian postcard and scap albums. And his grandparents kewpie cake topper. Eeeeeeeeeee! She knitted me a pink froofy scarf to match my new coat, and knitted one for Fifi too! Ah!

So, back to cleaning the house and setting up the glowing gnome and creepy santas.

The kimono is coming out FAB. I should be done in a day or two. So fun. I'm going to go start my "All Creatures Great and Small" marathon.

Just got back from another morning at Japantown in SF. Picked up... a ton of books at Kinokinuya *cringe*... I know, I know. I just got rid of FIVE CRATES. And now I bring home, erm... 7 more books.

Such is the life of an incurable collector.

But they are the awesome books. I'll spend the weekend in the tub flipping through them. Yum.

Oh yeah. So the octopus. Took Mr. Kallisti to Isobune. He'd never been to a sushi boat place. He's really been enjoying the plethora of sushi/fresh fish out here (he's recently from Michigan). So we did the sushi boat thing! I was very adventurous. And ate everything that looked pretty. Including teensy octopus that looked like it was in a red pepper sauce and wrapped in seaweed. Tiny suckers! I am very proud and triumphant (I've been terrified of seafood for most of my life. This is big stuff). I had all kinds of critters. But my favorite was a giant handroll of unagi, avocado and crab. OH MY GAWD. I almost ate two of them, but they were huge.

So yeah, I'm feelin' all replete. And stuff.

So. Before I go start on my kimono project (got the pattern resized! woo!) I grabbed a couple pictures of Fifi. She doesn't wear her default FCS wig too much, but it is soooo lovely. And I hadn't tried any dark eyes in her and thought she might look swell in Demelza's default cobalt. And day'um! Dark eyes make her look much more demure. I still love her so much. If anyone ever thinks these dolls aren't worth their price tag... oh man. They're like nothin' on earth.

And it is very cool a few other people are going to try the Kimono Project™ ! We should all post results. Here's the pattern, to refresh. Enlarge 121% to fit SD13.

Oh, and we bought seven sets of re-ment. Eeeee! Mr. Kallisti has the knack of picking the set we want. And I don't. So we went back and bought a bunch of the baby sets and I still didn't get the ones I wanted! *cry*

But we got some cooly cool ones. Woo.

Oh yeah, and *cough*... I'm currently in the market for 18mm nice glass eyes in pretty colors. My girls wear 20mm. And all I have are some red mac creatives that I *think* are 18mm.

And I don't know how to find nice Lusis eyes! 12mm! Heck!

Over and out... that is Saturday's report. It is cold. Brrrr!

I have to do it. It is driving me nuts. My books are caving in on me.

I love our cottage, but the bedroom is so small and narrow, and it is the only space with room for my giant bookcase (5' x 6'!) and all our books. They're stacked and stuffed in crevasses, spilling onto the floor, and there are numerous crates already in the garage of old paperbacks. I pulled a box of unwanted books a few weeks ago but it didn't even make a dent!

I'm going to be getting rid of some books. Oh, my beloved books. It is going to be hard. And then, from what is left over, we will store some in the garage, so we can get this monstrosity of a bookcase (that I LOVE) out of our bedroom.

Maybe.

Oh, and *snoopy dance* I won the winky Lusis face last night off of YJP. And for a lot cheaper than I got the orgasmic face. D'oh!

"It was a dark day for Darwin when Dover, Pa., became the first school district in the country to mandate the teaching of "intelligent design," which challenges the theory that man descended from apes. School board members Carol and Jeff Brown resigned in opposition to the decision."

and...

"Although public schools have been teaching evolution for decades, a national Gallup poll in November 2004 showed that only 35 percent of those asked believed confidently that Darwin's theory was "supported by the evidence.'' More than one-third of those polled by CBS News later in November said creationism should be taught instead of evolution."

Read article...

I give up. Give up!

Ya know, there are some very good reasons why our forefathers wrote the seperation between church and state into the Constitution. Mainly to keep the country from being controlled by a bunch of nutjobs, and to keep the nutjobs from controlling how the rest of us choose to live our lives. I can't believe so many people here are actively seeking a theocracy.

Believe what you want, I'm all over that. I sometimes think faith (of all kinds) is a miraculous thing to have.

But this puritan revolution is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't know what to do. The area I live in is SO NOT THAT, that activism is just preaching to the choir.

More of us hippies need to move to Arkansas and, er... PENNSYLVANIA obviously. And have hippy babies.

I envision something like an Islamic state except with more consumerism, booze, and trucker hats. Ya know what, all ya'll need to go out and found yer own state, AND GIT YER HANDS OFF OF MINE.

Azone has redone their site. No time to explore. Off to the fambly house to gorge on good homemade eats.

Please say a prayer for the plight of indigenous peoples everywhere while you're glutting yourself on the fruits of their labor.

I know I will.

Christmas girl outfit for 60cm girls.

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

Only cuz it is one of my favorite severed head paintings of all time! Woo-hoo, let's hear it for TWO, count them TWO Carravaggio posts in one month!

Filling out the "getting to know you" form for work for their employee files and there is a space to enter your "Pirate Name."

Yay.

I'm crazy busy but happy!

After watching The Bill Maher Show (which I don't really like) the other night, I looked up Andrew Sullivan's blog. Apparently he is very popular, from what I saw on the show he is also a very opinionated, but independent, individual even if I don't always agree with him. But he has some great points as someone who respects Bush and some of his policies, and yet finds fault where fault is due.

Ashcroft to be replaced by....

Mini Ashcroft!

Gonzales has been at the center of developing Bush's positions on balancing civil liberties with waging the war on terrorism -- opening the White House counsel to the same line of criticism that has dogged Ashcroft.

For instance, Gonzales publicly defended the administration's policy -- essentially repudiated by the Supreme Court and now being fought out in the lower courts -- of detaining certain terrorism suspects for extended periods without access to lawyers or courts.

He also wrote a controversial February 2002 memo in which Bush claimed the right to waive anti-torture law and international treaties providing protections to prisoners of war. That position drew fire from human rights groups, which said it helped led to the type of abuses uncovered in the Abu Ghraib prison scandal.

Some conservatives also have quietly questioned Gonzales' credentials on core social issues. And he once was a partner in a Houston law firm which represented the scandal-ridden energy giant Enron.

Gonzales would be the first Hispanic attorney general.

Please Sir, how about someone who believes in human rights and isn't tied to corporate scandal? Is that too much to ask? At least he won't throw sheets over the boobs of justice.

BOOBS OF JUSTICE!!!

Or will he?

my conservative, christian, REPUBLICAN mother-in-law. She sends a weekly card, and this week she signs it:

"Well we're stuck with George W. again for 4 more years. Lord help us all. Love & Hugs, Mom"

Made me laugh.

And Ashcroft resigned.

And there are new Dolly books out there: &

Anyone know how to order from Amazon.co.jp? Or should I just call Kinokuniya bookstore and special order? Need more silly toy books.

And someone just handed me a beer at work.

I'M HOME!!!

(shoot. I just overwrote some other randomg "kitten.jpg" picture. oh well.)

I know some of you are baffled as the outpouring of deep, divisive and sometimes violent emotions regarding Tuesday's election. I also know that there are various reasons we vote the way we do. But taking that into consideration, let me explain something. When one party seeks to deny, limit, curtail the rights of the other as a key part of their political platform, this is unacceptable. This is heinous. This is very anger making. I know there are many flavors of Republican and Conservatives. Take Arnold for instance. He's a socially progressive, fiscally conservative Republican. Meaning he's all for gay marriage, abortion rights, smaller government and no free rides. Unfortunately, that is not the platform of the Republican party as a whole. Clearly folks have priorities. And fiscally conservative, socially progressive Republicans have made their choice as to what matters most: money. The irony of it is though, is that this administration is the most financially irresponsible and freewheeling of ANY party in the history of this country.

For most conservatives though, and liberals too, it is the social issues that drive our vote. This is clearly seen in the turn out of this election. I recognize, and have for a very long time, that my views are not that of the majority. The majority turned out to vote down gay marriage, abortion rights, and for family values. Increasingly politics are not about political issues, they are about cultural issues. And when political parties are split down cultural lines, laws and policy are shaped accordingly.

So when you vote conservative you're saying my gay friends and family don't have the same rights as you do. When you vote conservative you're telling me that my rights to an abortion are not deserved, regardless of my feelings on the matter. You're telling me the poor and deservedly needy can go hang themselves, unless of course they seek out a Christian support group.

I have numerous friends here and elsewhere that are on the opposite politcal spectrum than me. I want to understand, I want to maintain my friendships, but this is personal. I am baffled. Honestly baffled that caring, creative, dynamic, compassionate people could make the choices they do.

When your choices directly effect my life, deny my rights, deny my friends and families basic human rights, please understand that myself, and others like me might be a little bit upset. These things are a priority for me, and very personal.

You've made your choice. Now live with it. I have to.

Putting all this behind me til the revolution,
Kallisti

Between new job, and the election... gack! Will post about Reno sometime this week, but it ain't all that exciting. Except for the SHOPPING!

The election has me feeling like a squashed bug, and Mr. Kallisti is wearing his Johnny Cash FU shirt and stomping around being all punk rock.

Also, I am so anxious for my Lusis I have squirmy butt.

OH! GADS! My Minx of Hearts outfit finally arrived to her very relieved owner in Italy! I was so terribly heartbroken to think it was lost. And I was going to start tracing procedures today too as it has been nearly a month. So there. There is some good news afterall.

I'm finding it terribly difficult to be generous to those friends I have who are on the opposite side of the political spectrum than me. In my heart I think: what kind of money grubbing greedy hate mongering bigot do you have to be to vote "conservative?" Since when is being a "progressive" not a good thing? Ten Eleven states passed measures banning gay marriage last night. Prez. Bush leads by a narrow margin, who has presided over the biggest government, tax squandering, corporate ass-licking, wasteful, hateful, righteous, war mongering government in history. And the possibilities for the Supreme Court are mind boggling.

HOW COULD YOU!?!?

Talk about faith, my faith in humanity is very low right now.

We just got up and did our 7am vote. At the Fraternal Order of Water Buffaloes Eagles building in El Cerrito. Lor' bless the ole ladies at the poll! There was a good line even at 7:10am. Lots of youngin's but then again we have a lot of Berkeley students here. There weren't enough pens.

Mr. Kallisti happened to be wearing his Carhart hoodie and did Eminem impersonations all the way to the poll.

I'm a new fan.

Now the anxiousness begins. Doesn't help having performance anxiety at my new job either.

I'm so.... aaaaaaaaaaagh!

PLEASE VOTE.

I've got an office. Woo!

Yay new job.

This is so great.

My apologies if this has made the rounds already. I'm so tickled.

as per request by le Marquis.

1) Mosquitos love me.
2) Since my mother is from Kansas I pronounce it "muskeetahs"... which sometimes makes my friends laugh.
3) My second to last toe on each foot is double jointed. They twist like twizzlers.
4) My first french kiss was with a girl.
5) I am allergic to grape leaves. That is all.
6) I think I am turning into The Crazy Halloween Lady (tm), and I kinda like it.
7) I don't go out much anymore. And kind of resent it when I do.
8) I wouldn't mind nesting forever.
9) I lived in New Orleans for two years and it changed my life utterly.
10) I miss it. I hope to retire there someday.
11) Self confidence is hard for me, but getting easier as I grow more and more wizened.
12) I am a food snob, but relish eating crap on occasions as long as it is reminiscent or kitschy or both.
13) I want a li'l Chinook camper.
14) Literature is like a soothing balm. I love 18th & 19th century authors.
15) Literary Criticism is like crack. I get all jittery and exited reading titles such as "The Female Thermometer: Eighteenth-Century Culture and the Invention of the Uncanny" & "The Whore's Story: Women, Pornography, and the British Novel, 1684-1830."
16) I am absolutely petrified of flying. And going to Europe is on my list of "better do before you die or you'll be sorry" list.
17) I only learned how to drive 2.5 years ago. I grew up in Berkeley and SF, who needed a car!?!?
18) Seafood made me hurl most of my life. But I'm getting over it and am actually learning to enjoy feasting on our friend's from the sea!
19) I hate, HATE, the sound of people eating crunchy food.
20) A guy who had a crush on me stuck a pen up my nose. I think it was because he was nervous talking to me.
21) The last guy to ask me out was retarded.
22) I met my husband on the internet. Woo.
23) I told my husband before we met that he wasn't allowed to pee on me in the shower. In his defense he as mortified that I felt I had to bring it up.
24) I've been thanked in the notes of several books for putting up a website when I was drunk and underemployed in New Orleans.
25) I don't actually drink absinthe anymore. Well, not much anyways.
26) The freckles on my husband's eyelids make me happy.
27) I was hit by a car when I was two.
28) I didn't learn to read til I was seven. Blame the damn hippy schools.
29) I was in a Rocky Horror cast from age 13 to 15. Prancing about in your skivvies seemed very natural to me at the time. I marvel.
30) I used to dye my hair pink.
31) I dress too young for my age. They didn't have cool or even descent clothes for pudgy girls when I was growing up, so my wardrobe was always very limited. So now I find myself shopping very young. And I love it. Weeee!
32) I did too much speed in the mid 90's.
33) But I was a teetotaler from the age of 17 to 25. Go figure.
34) I'm 36 and happy for the first time ever.
35) I have two incurable diseases.
36) I gush too much early on in a relationship. It scares away the squeamish which is perhaps a good thing.
37) I'm not good at being a slut.
38) A trollop maybe, but that is a more image and attitude than putting out.
39) I can't believe marriage is so perfect for me. I used to be so cynical.
40) I'm a very heavy sleeper and talk in my sleep. Things like "Cat! Cat!" and "*giggle* I'm going to KILL YOU! *giggle*"

Including my county newspaper:

Four years ago we recommended that voters support George W. Bush. We had high hopes for him. But, to put it bluntly, he has disappointed us.

Bush led the nation into a pre-emptive war in Iraq without adequate cause. Although we supported military action in Iraq after it began, and we continue to support our brave troops there, we now know that the reasons the administration gave for the U.S. invasion were wrong. Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. Iraq was not an imminent threat to the United States, nor did it play a role in the terrorist attack of Sept. 11, 2001. Its links to the al-Qaida terrorist network were sporadic.

In addition, too few troops were sent to Iraq to maintain the peace after the defeat of Saddam. Even worse, there was no post-war plan to establish law and order and a legitimate Iraqi government.

Bush does deserve credit for success in Afghanistan, improving U.S. relations with Pakistan, China and Russia and for helping persuade Libya to get rid of its dangerous weapons program. But these things could have been accomplished without invading Iraq, a war that has diminished our ability to respond to other threats, including those posed by North Korea and Iran.

Bush does deserve credit for success in Afghanistan, improving U.S. relations with Pakistan, China and Russia and for helping persuade Libya to get rid of its dangerous weapons program. But these things could have been accomplished without invading Iraq, a war that has diminished our ability to respond to other threats, including those posed by North Korea and Iran.

In the war on terrorism, Bush has been resolute in going after terrorists at home and abroad. However, his administration has been too willing to diminish civil liberties and has spent homeland security money in a less-than-efficient manner.

Equally troubling are Bush's views on force-feeding democracy to nations around the world as he pursues terrorists, which many interpret as code for American imperialism and meddling.

Domestically, Bush has been a profligate spender. Federal government spending has risen at nearly double the rate of the Clinton administration. Bush has failed to veto any bills nor has he practiced fiscal discipline. As a result, the federal government's budget is hemorrhaging with the largest deficit in U.S. history.

And this is happening all over the country. I have to admit though that I don't have a bright outlook for the election. Part of it is a protection mechanism, if I resign myself to "four more years" then I won't be too disappointed when it happens. But the truth is I will be crushed. I'm starting a new job on Monday, but what is really giving me heartburn is the election.

Please read the Voter's Page Bat & I did for the 2000 election:

... and study up on your ballot measures. I've printed out my copy of the Bay Guardian to take with me, with some notes. Woo.

Where you smash your finger closing the ironing board and then throw your iron away because the cord doesn't wrap around the iron properly for storage?

K, I'm on my way to the brand spankin' new two story Target store to get me a proper iron.

Rawr.

I have to post this in my journal!

1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.

Thanks le Marquis!

Everyone who answered my quandary re: game consoles. You all gave such awesome, thought provoking, and detailed responses. Mr. Kallisti went and picked out his XBox on Sunday and is home playing "Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters" at the moment. He totally loves it. And very much appreciates the time ya'll took for input.

SWAK!

It's Mr. Kallisti's birthday today! And I got him a phat gift certificate so he could get a game console. Just wondering if any of you gamers out there could make a case for getting either one?

He's leaning towards XBox because it has a new Godzilla game... and Gamecube because of it's portability.

And I don't know nuthin'...

His mom's here from the midwest, so we're off to play tourist. Wee!

Morford strikes again:

Imagine Bush filches another election in November. Nations mourn, black clouds gather, children cry, colons spasm, the remaining shreds of the American experiment wither and die.

And within a very short time, as many as 30 U.S. states have recriminalized abortion and made repressing women and hating sex fun again, as young American females everywhere who thought their right to choose was pretty much incontrovertible and indisputable and unfailing and who therefore didn't bother to vote in '00 or '04 suddenly go, oh holy freaking hell.

Hello, 1950s. Hello, coat-hanger surgery. Hello, millions of despondent daughters of uptight parents. Hello, dead or mutilated teenage girls who suffer botched procedures. Hello, a fresh national nightmare, revisited, regurgitated, reborn. And hello again to smug right-wing males who've wanted to put women back in their place for the past 50 years. Check that: 200 years. Check that: forever.

Just a silly nightmare? Utterly impossible? A ridiculous liberal daydream? Not even close, sweetheart.

He's always sayin' what I'm thinkin'...

For real. Social issues really, really count. Our rights are not god given, they are government given. Remember that. The government giveth, and government taketh away.

Please vote.

I win!

Remember that part where I was getting layed off from my job of six years at the end of October? Yeah, that.

Well, as of November 1st I will be the Webmaster of [insert technology company here] in downtown Berkeley.

I cannot express how excited I am to have this all squared away. I really like the company, they are much closer to home, kinda hippy, nice people, and I have a job. No compromises.

So we're celebrating. For the rest of the month. Woo.

I'm going to go sign my offer letter.

Because it keeps getting worse.

The artist said the names were spelled correctly on her sketches, but she got them wrong as she was doing the piece. She admits noticing "Einstein" was misspelled but choosing to go forward anyway.

"I just wasn't that concerned," she said. "None of us are particularly good spellers anymore because of computers. When you are in a studio full of clay, you don't give it much thought.

"When you look at Michelangelo's David, do you point out that one (testicle) is lower than the other?"

Um, yes. Yes I do. Because that is nature. An acute observation on the part of the artist of reality. Also because I like to stare at David's testicles, meow.

but also because this is very cool.

Drunken Monkey Motorcycle! Geeking Around The World!

I did this MT blog for a friend of my brother's. He wanted a diary format to catalog his travels as he rides a vintage Ducati all over the world. I think it is really cool.

Also, I get a small crate of punk vinyl for the exchange! Good luck! Vroom-vroom!

*stab*

She certainly ain't no "Eistein."

Moonies knee-deep in faith-based funds Pushing celibacy, marriage counseling under Bush plan

Cuz they're DAMN FUNNY. Nabbed this from a Salon.com article. Please enjoy:

(and I don't put this shite behind cuts cuz I know damn well a lot of people don't read 'em. nyah)

After the [Iraq] war started, Stewart had the following conversations with Colbert, who was wearing his "senior media analyst" hat:

Stewart: What should the media's role be in covering the war?

Colbert: Very simply, the media's role should be the accurate and objective description of the hellacious ass-whomping we're handing the Iraqis.

Stewart: Hellacious ass-whomping? Now to me, that sounds pretty subjective.

Colbert: Are you saying it's not an ass-whomping, Jon? I suppose you could call it an ass-kicking or an ass-handing-to. Unless, of course, you love Hitler.

Stewart [stammering]: I don't love Hitler.

Colbert: Spoken like a true Hitler-lover.

Stewart: Look, even some American generals have said that the Iraqis have put up more resistance than they were expected to.

Colbert: First rule of journalism, Jon, is to know your sources. Sounds like these "generals" of yours may be a little light in the combat boots, if you know what I'm saying.

Stewart: I don't think I know what you're saying.

Colbert: I'm saying they're queers, Jon. They're Hitler-loving queers.

Stewart: I'm perplexed. Is your position that there's no place for negative words or even thoughts in the media?

Colbert: Not at all, Jon. Doubts can happen to everyone, including me, but as a responsible journalist, I've taken my doubts, fears, moral compass, conscience and all-pervading skepticism about the very nature of this war and simply placed them in this empty Altoids box. [Produces box.] That's where they'll stay, safe and sound, until Iraq is liberated.

Stewart: Isn't it the media's responsibility in wartime ...

Colbert: That's my point, Jon! The media has no responsibility in wartime. The government's on top of it. The media can sit this one out.

Stewart: And do what?

Colbert: Everything it's always wanted to do but had no time for: travel, see the world, write that novel. I know the media has always wanted to try yoga. This is a great time to take it up. It's very stressful out there -- huge war going on. Jon, hear me out, it was Thomas Jefferson who said, "Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach."

Stewart: Stephen, Stalin said that. That was Stalin. Jefferson said he'd rather have a free press and no government than a government and no free press.

Colbert: Well, what do you expect from a slave-banging, Hitler-loving queer?

I had a dream last night that I was Indian and that it was so great cuz that meant I got to eat Indian food ALL THE TIME.

Picking Mr. Kallisti up from the airport in a couple hours. I am a dumb little bored monkey without him here. Was fine when I had my sewing project, but now that is done I just stare o.o and eat potstickers.

Now, I have an essay question about web marketing to answer before I go to another interview tomorrow. I just want to make pretty web pages for a living. Agh. I hate this. Can I just get a job at a bookstore, PLEASE!?!?

Makin' the shoppin' list. Looked down at my Kogepan note paper to check the list and was all "hey! there's fetus' in these jars... !?!?" Til I realized Mr. Kallisti had been doodling again. Heh.

Interview for "Creative Web Engineer" went very well, and I look very spiffo. I go back for round two this week or next. Woo. Good sign. She says they will be talking to 2-3 people in round two interviews, me being one of them. So at least I'm not one of millions.

The company seems good. Not glamooooor, but they've been around for 45 years and their SF offices are pretty low key. I don't have my hopes up cuz this was my first interview and she also says that my only having one key position wasn't the greatest thing. I guess it would have been better if I had had three jobs in six years than one job over the same period? But she said the fact we work with multiple clients should balance that out a bit. Whateveh. It is nice to practice being a corporate whore selling my ass to the highest bidder.

Can you say "401k matching"? *dream*

Oh! The DOOM CALENDAR says just 45 more days to go til freedom *does best Mel Gibson imitation* or NOT. Heh.

I have my first interview tomorrow morning. Yip!

Shit. Gotta dye my hair, I look like ASS.

"actually, I'm renouncing all material posessions and walking tibet on foot. now gimme some candy."

I want to tattoo that on my ass.

K, if you've read this on 238473 other blogs. Forgive me. I just can't let it go.

Bush: OB-GYNs kept from 'practicing their love' 07 Sep 2004 00:56:01 GMT

Source: Reuters

POPLAR BLUFF, Mo., Sept 6 (Reuters) - U.S. President George W. Bush offered an unexpected reason on Monday for cracking down on frivolous medical lawsuits: "Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

The Republican president, long known for verbal and grammatical lapses, included the anecdote about obstetrician gynecologists in his stump speech attacking Democratic presidential rival Sen. John Kerry and his running mate, Sen. John Edwards, a former trial lawyer.

At a rally of cheering supporters in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, Bush made his usual pitch for limiting "frivolous lawsuits" that he said drive up the cost of health care and run doctors out of business.

But then he added, "We've got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

Unfazed, Bush went on to deride his rivals as "pro-trial lawyer," and concluded, "I think you've got to make a choice. My opponent made his choice, and he put him on the ticket. I made my choice. I'm for medical liability reform now."

On a lighter note, cool new Re-ment kitchen stuff. Love the Volks girl presenting.

Also, more fruit, veggies, lobsters and squids!

Your Inner Child. by peemonster
Name/ID
Your Inner Child's Age	10
Your Inner Child
It says	"Don't worry, I won't break anything."
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Can you guess what I'm holding?

Tom Waits... charismatic story-teller with a
penchant for freaky people and unusual
settings. You thrive on the concept of the
underdog coming out on top.


Which fucked-up genius composer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Now I gotta go!

Amazon rocks.

They have dildoes. Honest.

I was looking for, er, something else. By "Johnson & Johnson" and came up with a page of sex toys. Personally I'm interested in the 6" E-Z Rider Ball Vac with VAC-U-LOCK System. Yeah. Check out the customer review!

"We had a lot of trouble with this item. First, it's bounces somewhat irregularly, and on 2 ocassions it got caught in the net. However, on the plus side, slam dunks are much easier to perform with the extra handle provided, and there seems to be the side benefit that the basketball court clears immediately the second I take it out."

Neat.

Cuz everyone keeps bringing them up! Here's me in a Redd Kross t-shirt, circa 1989-1990, dancing in a field in the Marin Headlands. Too bad the pix are in black and white, because I had very deep, bright raspberry hair. Mmmm.

Dancing with Shannon:

The tshirt has an afro lady with the words "Redd Kross" in her fro on the front, and a psychedelic pic of Cher on the back saying "Friends of Cher." Oh, how we loved Redd Kross! Used to see them all the time. How we loved them, mwror.

Also Shannon and I were roommates for nine years. She's the awesome feral kitten wrangler I got Biscuit from.

Only cuz the expression is priceless.

If you were a cat!
Name / Username
Your age would be:	6 weeks
You would look like:
This Quiz by schmeanna - Taken 14052 Times.

New - Help with love and dating!

I've added a mail form to Blastmilk.com.

http://www.blastmilk.com/mail.html

Neat. And spamfree.

Also, I've added a category for my cats. CATegory. Har. Now all the kitties are in one nice big fluffy place.

You are a beeyooootiful lady!

Got your package today. Yay! Wow! Some familiar, and some strange. I love it, love it.

I'm feelin' the love now, can't you tell.

Because the world of Blog is wise, I am asking here:

Does anyone know if you can work X amount of part-time hours while on unemployment and NOT have them deducted from your benefits?

http://www.edd.ca.gov/

I canna find on the site and they used to do that. Like 15 hours or sumfin'.

But yes, I'd like tiny part-time xmassy help type job while I am slacking. If I must slack.

florescent lights eat my brain.

I think I will blame all my trauma on suck ass corporate florescent lighting. my brain is swollen.

random bunny pic makes me happy and cures all known diseases of the soul:

Oh! And I pick up my face hugger first thing in the morning. Oh boy!

I meant to post this on my birthday. I'm so lame. I'm 36 by the way! Eeeeeeeek!

Please continue the retrospective by clicking below!

We just ate the best food ever. A newish place across the street next to the Pacific East Mall called "Saigon: Seafood Harbor"

Man, O man. That was the best food ever. And it was served all fancy like on very artsy craftsy pottery plates. The fried chow mein was insane. I got the combination and it had mystery seafood in it. And guess what!?!? I just put it in my mouth! And I liked it! I think we determined after that they were scallops. A little backstory: I've had severe seafood phobia most of my life and have been trying over the past ten years or so to chip away at it. This was a brave moment for me. Yay. The potstickers came with a fancy pink vinegar with ginger shreds in it. And the spicey shrimp were deeeelectable. Oh, and the tea. Tasted like perfume. Wow.

We've been eating like kings for my birthday weekend. I was so hyped up angry from work friday that I demanded sushi when I got home and lots of it. Went to Kasuga's and totally had a feast. And they are so friendly and yummy. Oh, and we had "godzilla rolls"... how can you pass up Godzilla Rolls!?!? They were tempura'd and deep fried yellow tail rolls, with red hot chili paste squirted on them. I figured it was Godzilla's firey breath that cooked them.

And then, for my birthday, we went to Ajanta, the World's Most Exquisite Indian Food (tm) and again, totally pigged out with a feast. Again, super nice and friendly service and a huge mural opposite our table with lots of naked frolicking people. Nipples! At dinner time! Yay!

And then, whoops! Just got these off of DOA:

No, not Cyndy! But the thin green Zouki eyes. Thank you Aimee for your new forum with the "Marketplace"!!!! And thanks to Gloria who sold them to me. They are 22mm and my girls usually wear 20mm, but I thought they would look good with big green swimmy eyes. I have determined that pale, pale eyes are my favorite. And good eyes, with everyone shutting down, are SO HARD to get. Ok, but... um. I shouldna bought anything. That whole saving money thing, which I've been doing good at recently, but it really has to be a priority. :p

I had my first followup with the doc since I did the over night sleep test. Yeah! I scored!

I offically have sleep apnea and hyperinsomnia. Meaning, I stop breathing twenty times an hour during sleep (about every three minutes) and I wake up fifteen or twenty times a night and hardly dream. Which means I have very poor sleep quality.

Go me.

But it answers a lot of my "boy I sure feel crappy" problems. I can't wait to get my face hugger breathing device (or CPAP: Continuous Positive Airway Pressure)! All covered by insurance, thankyouverymuch. I will be getting a "petite" version due to my apparently very small nose.

Who's pretty?

Mr. Kallisti has promised to still love me even with a rubber face hugger on my face. Ain't he sweet?

All this may suck, but I'd do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to feel normal. I haven't felt non-groggy, non-assy in EIGHTEEN MONTHS. Every single day. Every moment. I could sleep. Hehehe.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh also, and this is great, I got asked out by a retard on my birthday. In my therapist's waiting room. Isn't that awesome? I told him I was married and he said "All the good ones are taken *sigh*." I almost pee'd. And then I helped him tie a knot in his judo outfit.

it's my birthday. more on that later.

Best birthday present so far is that kitty Biscuit went for his leukemia/aids test this morning and passed! Yay! Now he's running around like nuts terrorizing the older cats as he's been locked in our bedroom for two weeks. They are unhappy. He also went from 2.2 lbs to 3.4 in two weeks! He's a biggun.

Look, we caught him in a moment of non-movement yesterday:

Too many pix to post, so here's a dir! This one is especially evil. It is going to give me nightmares.

I am so in love with quality dolly shoes. I think I've begun collecting them in their own right.

Left to right: My newest pair by Soul-doll, pink suede fringe platforms (eeeee!), Azone black patent boots, Volks black victorian "Sylvie" boots, Azone red patent mary janes, Volks black patent gothic creepers, Ajumapama black patent platform mary janes and black platform boots with detail stitching. Lastly, above Demelza is wearing Volks victorian ankle boots in white. Mmmmm!!!

I need to display these. Too pretty to keep tucked in boxes.

Also, I got my walking papers from work yesterday, my last day will be October 31st. Sigh.

I waited for ohmeohmy to say something first. Now that she has, the confirmed rumour is that we will indeed be laid off tomorrow. The catch is how long they will keep us on to train Canadian work monkeys and what kind of dosh we'll get.

I will be lighting candles tonight for the best possible outcome tomorrow. I am at once relieved that I can finally get off this nightmarish merry-go-round, but am unusually anxious, and have been since layoffs were announced two weeks ago.

It used to be that I experienced stress and anxiety differently. A pint of ice cream and I was good to go. Now it is as if someone injected me with a meth/crack speedball and I want to hurl. Very peculiar, I also want to go to sleep. Need to breathe and do yoga like things. And drink whiskey.

Six years is a long time. I think we will be ok.

p.s. I stole the image above from an online shop hawking the "Invader Zim Doom Triple Woven Jacquard Throw Blanket." If I weren't getting canned I would so buy this.

Not that I'm quitting. But therapy suggests being proactive and not passively waiting for doom would be a good thing. Even if what I am actually doing is waiting for doom, while pretending to be proactive. I need to get back in touch with chat rooms and mailing lists. Linger? Fluff? Are you still out there!?!?

Resume: I can do lots of things. I am happy work monkey and punch keys. Also, I have fun toys on my desk and have been known to wear bunny ears to work.

K, universe? Thanks.

I am hammering tiny grommets. Bwahahahaha! That is what time off is for! Hammering so much things are jumping off the counter and breaking and neighbors are crankily slamming doors. Yay.

Thanks to everyone and their lovely words on our anniversary. SWAK!!!

Also, this is awesome (stolen from Tamera & Marina): "Vertigo's San Francisco: Then and Now"

And let us revist this, shall we?

Sigh. Tired of it? No.

This is not a vegetarian friendly entry (not that all ya'll aren't welcome).

House of Prime Rib was awesome! Much more hoppin' than I would have expected on a Wednesday night at 8:30pm. The place was packed. Real nice joint. Olde World San Francisco style, lots of charm, and leather booths. We got a nice intimate one that unfortunately happened to be squashed up the backside of a large party crammed onto a four seater table. But they left half way through our meal, and once the cocktails were served, we were too happy to care.

Our order was taken by a cordial version of Steven Wright. "How are we doing tonight folks. I'm Michael, I'll be your waiter for this evening. Are you ready to have some fun, tonight? Good. We're going introduce you to your carver "Jose" later on (Jose, was also busing tables when he wasn't hauling the "Airstream" around) but right now can I get some more drinks?"

Rum & Coke and a Gin & Tonic please.

"Comin' riiight up. Ok, let's Rock and Roll!"

Nice cocktails by the way. Old Skool style as well. My Rum 'n' Coke was pure high quality rum on the rocks with a squirt of coke for color. Mr. Kallisti was real happy with his G & T as well. We had two of each. Mmmmm.

Now, the deal with HoPR is that there is one item on the menu, that is Prime Rib ™, and that is it. You get five choices of cut, salad, creamed spinach and choice of mashed or baked potato. Now I'd heard that the "Henry VIII" cut was the thing to get. What I didn't know is that this cut is two inches thick and on the bone, baby. They wheel the Airstream Trailer of Meat (terminology swavely stolen from Swingingwake) over to your table and serve you up the cut and done-ness of your choice. I usually go for medium rare, because although I like bloody, some people's idea of bloody is still cold in the middle (*cough* Dad). I was a bit disappointed though that their medium rare was more medium than rare. But fear not! You get seconds. Yes indeedy. They inform you when you order that you may have seconds. Normally I would have no need to partake, but since I didn't get my bloody, we partook. It was a very delicate lady-like slice, thank goodness. But oh so delish.

The salad was generous, but blah. The creamed spinach was very good, yummy even. They really know how to make even the vegetables bad for you in this joint. The mashed taters were divine with just a sploosh of dark rich gravy pooled in the middle.

Oh! And after they plop this 15lb cut of prime rib in front of you, he wheels in another Cart of Sauce. You have three choices of horseradish, mild, medium and hot. I picked medium and OH BOY, was I lucky! He put a big icecream scoop of hot pink whipped horseradish flavored butter on my plate, that turned the meat juices into a frothy pink yummy mess. This stuff was scary AND tasted good. Yay. Mr. Kallisti, who's sole reason to eat sushi is to get a big mouthful of wasabi, asked for the spicy horseradish. After the initial blast and teary deluge he stated "This is horseradish the way God intended."

We ate a lot. Oh, and then had a whole pan of Crème Broulee. Dumb Americans, crème broulee is supposed to come in these little egg cups. You have a tiny spoon, crack the top, have a deliciously fat saturated bite and then you're done! Yay. Well, no. Their Crème was about seven inches in diameter, and pure heaven in every inch. Damn them. We shared and I still couldn't eat my half.

Oh, and on a side note, I'd like very much to introduce you to our new kitten: Biscuit Lafitte! ("biscuit" pronounced "biskwee" when we're frisky) Click below for cuteness. He's got the damnedest habit of holding down your face and forcibly inserting his tongue into every oriface on your head. I haven't quite figured out the purpose of this yet.

Warning! This post is guaranteed to make your teeth rot! ♥ August 4th, 2003 ♥

Our first anniversary is today. We're celebrating by taking the day off and having Pajama Day™! And then we're going out to "House of Prime Rib" for dinner tonight. Oh boy. Meat Kitsch extravaganza!

This is been the happiest year of my life. Despite other issues, I am so eternally grateful to be where I am now that other problems shrink in comparison. And this is coming from someone who didn't believe in true love, fidelity and happily forever after. For real. It can happen for the freakiest of us. Indeed.

For a brief history of our unlikely relationship and lots of pictures, please click below!

Shannon called at 9am this morning, and told me junior was getting a bath but he was ready to be picked up. He was still quite traumatized from his morning deluge when we showed up, but he was nearly dry if still shivering from nervousness. After a brief visit, we plopped him and his big carrier in the back seat of the festiva. He poo'd six times between Oakland and El Cerrito, and when we got him inside, he was nestled down in his mini cat box and absolutely encrusted with kitten poo. Right back into the tub with you, little man!

We closed the doors so the bathroom and bedroom can be his playground til we get his leukemia tests done. He's so mellow! Very loving, despite the trauma. He's snuggly and gives kisses and cleaned half my arm with his papery tongue.

Please forgive all the kitten pictures. He's got the prettiest coloring, blue point and orange tabby both, but pale and creamy. And ice blue eyes!

Click below for kitten movie :)

eep. The kitten is creeping into my heart. Not helped by the fact that he looks like Zman's bastard child. I talked to Shannon this morning. And he's a boy, very tiny, cream with faint orange tabby stripes and a grey tail and he was rescued from the wild kitty menagerie in the yard next to hers. Zman is a siamese blue point with very faint tabby stripes.

Shannon is going out of town and said we could babysit Junior for three days. I really was not planning on getting a cat. But he's sooooo sweet. We shall see. We'll pick him up tomorrow.

friends sending me pictures of adoptable kittens. EVIL. *cry* I want kitty.

Anyone in the Bay Area who wants to adopt this rescued adorable kitten let me know. From experienced kitten wrangler!

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/archive/2004/07/30/nara.DTL

Happy reading.

Also, hehehe. Austria has issued an Arnold Stamp:

I spent too much money.

And I didn't even buy any dolls this month. And all my money went *poof!*

The dollhouse was way expensive. $20 for the wood. $400+ for all the damn accoutrements, trimmings, decorations, furniture and craft items. Eeep!

Also, I bought a TON of books this month. I am a happy reader. I've read a book this week! A whole book. The previous book took me a month to finish. And before that, it was 6+ months without being able to read much. So I am very happy and already tearing into the next one in my pile.

Happy except for the money. And August is my birth month, wherein I am supposed to spoil myself silly. Now I just feel guilty. Oh well. Start saving in September, right?

I still have $400 saved in my New Orleans fund though, I'm comin!

Work avoidance thanks to Aimeekitty!

Courtesy of Candybar Doll Maker. Yip.

Just had our quarterly all hands meeting. Bleh. The money is due to run out by, um, October if we keep spending "x" amount, so the company needs to "restructure."

In light of our need to align around a single go-forward strategy to address this great market opportunity, we need to rationalize our organization. We can't have 3 business units going after 9 different markets. If we are to succeed, we need to be one company.

In the coming weeks, we will be providing more detailed information about our response to the market opportunity and our organizational alignment to address it. We will roll out the new organization over the coming weeks and expect to have it in place by the end of August.

I hope they lay me off. I've been through this too many times. I've been at this company for 5 1/2 years, seen 2834973 rounds of layoffs. We are now a department of two, myself and my manager Tamera. Can they can me? My work load has gotten lighter and lighter, but no one but my manager and I knows what the hell it is we do. I'm doing Spam Administration on the side, but I am not essential, just taking up the slack.

I want to work in a small bookshop and never come back to a corporate environment ever again. The florescent lights and soul sucking doom is killing me. Just like politicians anyone with an MBA is fundamentally flawed. Evil.

I don't even know if I can get another job in this sector. It is still a wasteland out here.

I feel sick.

I don't talk about my absinthe connection here much. I live and breath the stuff, I don't really *think* about it anymore the way I do the dollies.

But two things happened this month that have me as giddy as a school girl.

Jade Absinthes have finally seen the light of day. Long story short, a number of years ago (let us say five) Ted Breaux, a friend who is a bio chemist and absinthe historian, began the long and arduous process of reproducing turn of the century absinthe. Three years ago he held an invite only tasting in New Orleans of his products, but due to several business related snafus it is only now that the products have seen the light of day. There has been much speculation and a whole lot more doubt that he has had to face because of the delays. So I am particularly elated that as of last week, two products have been released. Nouvelle Orléans, which is not a replica, but a product inspired by products of old, and Suisse Verte 65, which is a replica of Berger Absinthe, of which I have a vintage sample, and it is absolutely divine.

We are due to receive our first two bottles any day. Very exciting!!! Ted has produced these absinthes in an old absinthe distillery in France, using original Pernod stills. It is fucking exciting. I canna tell you how cool this is. And what is almost as cool as that? Is that Ted has hooked up with my other friends Liqueurs de France for distribution. Rawr! It will be more widely available soon. Right now it is just available to those on the mailing list.

And let me tell ya'll about fine absinthe made in a traditional matter. It is like liquid perfume. Like a spring garden. Bitter? No... only in the mildest sense. When wormwood is distilled, the bitter absinthins are left behind in the dregs, and what comes over is the most amazing perfume. Distillation, it really does make a difference.

This is Morrigan and I at the Nola Gathering, 2001. We are very drunk. Also, I am very sick. But I drank and smoked a lot anyway, it was a special occasion. Pic courtesy of Emiliano! Who has a whole page of pix from the absinthe gathering in 2001.

And on a similar note, Frenchman Phil has reproduced an absolutely stunning repro belle epoch absinthe fountain. It is only $235 and I covet so much it hurts. No mullah, however. Fire sale! I don't even have a nice place to put it. Dammint.

Spent the night at the sleep lab. With 238473487 electrodes taped with goo all over me, especially my head. And then had to try to sleep like that. If I wasn't so exhausted all the time I don't know what I would have done. I still woke up nervously 23478 times. And then they woke me up at 5am to unhook me.

Mr. Kallisti was sweet enough to crawl outa bed and drive to the burbs to pick me up. It was our first night apart. We were both sad.

Oh my gawd. My hair. They make you wash it with NO HAIR PRODUCT and it has to be bone dry when you come in. So I had to blow dry my hair. It was an afro. And it has been fifteen years since my hair has seen a day without product. Eeek. I was scary. But sleep lab people were super nice. The girl hookin' me up said she had wanted desperately to be a mortician or go into forensics but she was deathly allergic to formaldehyde, I told her about my dad who is a cemetery historian, and we got along just fine.

I won't know anything for three weeks until I go back to speek with the big doctor. Phhhbbbbt!

Also, Dolpa 11 will have new Dollfie Dream outfits, they're only 8,800 yen so I think I should get one. Calamity is neglected :/

I wonder if I can just wait for them to hit the Volks site or if I should do some scrambling. Eh. No scrambling. Don't feel like it. (heh. I'm tired. *yawn*)

No extra heads or chest expansions though. Pooey.

I was on the phone with Mr. Kallisti from work and was fiddling around with stuff on my desk. I went to move the spooky house Lemax catalog and my BART tickets fell out! YAYAYAY!

I took the catalog out of my bag on tuesday when I posted about Dr. Stretch N. Pulls and didn't know the ticket holder had gotten stuck between the pages.

So relieved. We're gonna celebrate by buying the torture chamber tomorrow night. Woo.

Also, yesterday I bought cheese cubes to supplement my salad and it turns out they're half american cheese. Bleh! They were "pepper jack," whodda guessed they would have spiked it with plastic food!?!?! Ouch. I feel sick.

I've just lost $180 worth of BART (commuter train) tickets. I can't even believe it. *stares*

I usually don't carry that much with me but I just bought them Friday and forgot to put them away.

It costs me over $130 to commute to work each month.

*stare*

Now that I have a leetle cottage with a wee front yard and an even tinier porch, I can decorate like mad. Mr. Kallisti was pretty thrilled with this one even. Must. buy. now. before they're all out of stock. So funny, it is freakin' July and Michaels has gotten all their Spooky Town on the shelf already.

Also, Department 56 is introducing "Dicken's All Hallows Eve" collection with less of a goofy halloween feel. I'll take the hearse, thank you.

We had a family reunion of my father's kin this weekend. Um, the first I've seen of all my Dad & Uncle's cousins for seventeen years. They all look like grandparents now, when last I saw them they looked like mommy's & daddy's. It is weird. Also, all the women look like my grandmother, which makes me wistful and sad.

But I briefly bonded with two of my relatives. Aunt (cousin) Susan collects postcards and she showed me her fantastic collection of local postcards. The gathering was held at her place in the El Cerrito Hills, I'd probably been there as a small child for Christmas. I don't remember. Her living room was filled with gorgeous artwork which brings me to cousin Richard!

When I was wee my grandmother would receive lots of postcards from Paris from Cousin Richard, and then one day she received the most amazing book, "Les Miroir Des Chats," an extremely large format book of color photographs and paintings of cats Cousin Richard collaborated on (as photographer) with artist Leonor Fini. Over the years, and another cat book later, I became fascinated with her artwork and style. I've only found one print (not a cat) and had it mounted. But she's referenced in books on women in surrealism and the works of Georges Batailles. Madame Fini passed away last decade and Richard was heir to her estate. He's also a successful artist in his own right, I clipped a blurb from Vanity Fair last year on a show he was doing in New York and gave it to my uncle.

In any case, Richard was very friendly and generous (and absolutely LOVED the wine I brought. Score!) but he was defacto co-host of the gathering, so no time for chatting aside from an enthusiastic invite to Paris and an exchange of addresses.

Leonor Fini's Gallery in Paris. More info on Madame Fini, and more. A couple years ago there was zero info on the web about Fini, and now there is tons.

Le Couronnement de la Bienheureuse Féline, 1974

Oh yeah. My sloppy segue. There were four or five original Madame Fini drawings in Aunt Susan's living room. *swooon!*

Thanks to the Marquis.

Can you guess? Dog Toy or Marital Aid?

I, um... got 100% on the first two and one wrong on the last, so 37 out of 38.

It's moments like these, when I'm digging through my hard drive looking for evidence to prove you have a slight resemblance to Joe Perry (ten+ years younger, of course) that I miss you the most.

Vivé la Nouvelle Orleans!

For the unwashed, this pic was taken in '98 in our ramshackle carriage house (vines were growing through the walls) behind our lovely camel back shotgun in New Orleans. It was haunted so we thought we'd use it as a photo op for spoooooooky peeeektures. And how.

I just found out that my insurance company is paying for my shrink!!! Minus a $15 co-pay! Woooo! I still pay her $340 out of pocket, but the insurance company is sending me a phat $280 check on my claim.

I'm so relieved and excited. I can start my 401k now. Wooo.

I had no idea. Oh boy, oh boy.

I so wanted to do a spectacular Bastille Day post yesterday, I apologize for letting everyone down. But sheesh! What a day! I took the day off for a doctor appt. and it went like this:

1) 9:30am - yay! the car started, put in new battery the night before after it had died. drove to hospital in the burbs for a consultation at a sleep disorders center. doctor is an hour late for our appointment, I nap in waiting room because I can. dr. 99% positive I have sleep apnea and we schedule overnight sleep test for next week, and he explains the use of big crazy plastic octopus mask I'll need to wear to bed for the rest of my life. HOWEVER, I will do anything, ANYTHING I tell you, to get my life back. I can barely sit upright as I type this. and this may be the root of many of my other problems including panic disorder (which is doing very well, thank you!).

2) 11:00am - drove home to pee.

3) 11:05am - drove to bank to get money to drive up to the top of Solano to buy tacos and burritos from Berkeley's only decent mission style burrito joint and then drive back to Richmond to have lunch with Mr. Kallisti in his big scary chemical dirty warehouse. the rest of the boys are eating McDonald's and glare jealously at us scarfing amazing hand-fried cripsy tacos with lots of guac. mmmm.

4) 12:30pm - get back on freeway and drive aaaall the way to emeryville on a secret mission.

5) 1:00pm - back on the freeway again and drive aaaall the way back to El Cerrito to go pick up my new lenses from the Optomotrist. I put them on and start yellin'. my new prescription is funhouse crazy. everyone looks like midgets and there are no right angles, the plate glass slopes off at crazy angles. the nice lady calms me down and says the doctor has time in an hour to see me to make sure the prescription is right.

6) 1:30pm - ow! outside is even worse. my feet look like they are too close to my face. weird. I want to cry. to kill time I decide to run my errands. drive all the way back to the other side of el cerrito, go to the beauty store and pick up lovely gifty set of body pampering goodies for Mr. Kallisti's co-worker's wife who just had a baby the other night. then walk over to albertson's and all the shopping carts look like they only come up to my knees. I keep mistaking people for midgets and it is freaky. the store aisles look so catywompus I stand there for five minutes staring. I buy pearl onions, lysol, bandages, hagendaas vanilla ice cream and caramel butterscotch topping. they were out of my bandages. damn, I'll have to go to another store.

7) 2:15pm - I have to go by the house again cuz I was dumb and bought icecream and it will melt. throw that in the freezer and run back out the door.

8) 2:30pm - drive baaack to the other side of el cerrito and nice optomotrist reassures me the prescription is right, that it is just the new astigmatism correction and that my brain should re-adjust in a week or two. sigh. so crazy.

9) 3:00pm - drve aaaall the way back down san pablo ave to home. throw my clothes off, put on pajamas, fix a biiiig bowl of icecream and pour hot caramel all over it. sit down to watch two episodes of tivo'd eastenders which goes a great long way to calming me down. have I mentioned that I am pms'ing like crazy? I feel overwhelmed and have a vague sense of doom.

10) 4:00pm - Mr. Kallisti comes home and pats me on the head. says he'll fix me dinner later. I was gonna make "coq au vin" for Bastille Day but we have several chickens, so he'll crispy bake me a bird for tonight. gravy! he then tells me to take a nap.

11) 5:30pm - I'm awoken by Mr. Kallisti jumping on me and showing me his new completely baby bottom smooth shaved head. he usually just buzzes. it is strange and sensual and I'm just a little bit frightened by how smooth it is. fade to black for the dirty parts.

I've been meaning to buy a few sets of professional clothes, but keep putting it off. Nothing stodgy, just slick with a little punch. Cuz I'm kinda freaky.

SO. Ran across this outfit at Lane Bryant last week and I think I want!

closeup:

It also comes in bright fuschia pink but the green will go better with my hair. I just don't know what kind of jacket to wear with it? Or a cardigan? Or...

There's also this pink tweed jacket and liiiiiime duster! Eeeeeeeee! But I think I'm just being silly now.

Or! Aaaah!

With matching pants. *dies* I'm such a freak.

That is all I can muster. It has been a long day. Sigh. Go read my pages on the Guillotine... thanks!

Hear me rawr.

Ok, I'm too old for this shirt. But it was ON SALE at Torrid and I am a suckah for pirates AND kitties. Gar. So I am wearing this today, and unashamed.

Also, I want to gay marry Alan Cumming. Is it possible to have a regular husband and a gay husband? Since le Marquisdd is already taken, Mssr. Cumming will do just fine thank you.

K, there were a ton of better glam shots, but this one of him in the tub with Ian McKellen is just TO DIE FOR. I've gone to big gay heaven.

Um, was there something else? Oh, yeah. Organic fruit is nice and all but it is FREAKIN' expensive. Stopped by the farmer's market at the ferry building and got five nectarines. For, um $6.50. FOR FIVE!?!? K. I'm done.

Now I'm going to make myself sick on fresh fruit. Yum, summer.

Read the NEWS, and then do something. borrowed from Butterflyaising:

Subject: Please help right away -- we've got to stick together

Dear friend,

Congress is about to vote on amending the U.S. Constitution to deny marriage equality to same-sex couples.

Never before has our Constitution been amended to take away anyone's rights. Yet our Senators will vote on this amendment in the next 48 hours.

It's urgent that we speak up now. This hateful divisiveness has no place in America. Please join me in saying so, at:

http://www.moveon.org/unitednotdivided/

Equality in marriage is the civil rights issue of our generation. We can't let anyone, or any group, be singled out for discrimination based on who they are or who they love.

Thank you.

Even if you don't believe that gay people should have the right to marry or obtain civil unions, please sign. This is such an abuse of our Constitution, a document we should all be proud of, and not ashamed.

Please pass this on.

*stab*

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2004/07/10/national1414EDT0549.DTL

I'm so angry I could scream. This is such a close and dear issue for me. I can't even begin to express how mindless and bigotted I think anyone is who supports this man, this administration, these ideals. I am very unreasonable. And I am sickened by the lack of gumption from other politicians to stop this. WTF!!?!?!

And we haven't even gotten to the nominations yet. This is going to be a real rough year. I should update our voting page on SiH.

*shakes fist in air*

"Godspeed through Texas, faggot!" - Kids in the Hall

I'm trying to beat my "most posts in one day record" ... which I think is maybe three.

Stolen from Morrigan, woot. Really get to know me, why dontcha:

Interview w/ mother who's son was killed in Iraq from The Guardian.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/women/story/0,3604,1256293,00.html

This ain't so much about the movie as it is about this particular woman's story.

I. just. can't. see why anyone of sense and compassion would continue to support this administration. It makes me want to claw my eyes out with needles to just wrap my head around it. Even my conservative christian mother in law hates Bush now. C'mon!?!?!

The Bush White House is like heaven for Big Money & Bigots.

But check this out:

(clicky pic for link)

I've been a-wantin' a region free player for years. And I've got super itchy over the wee machine at J-list.com... anyone have any experiences with this or like machines? I like the idea of this one because you don't have to hack it. Also, it will play VCD's.

I want to buy many poncy flicks and tv series from the UK. Plus the shops across the street carry tons of cheap Asian vcd films that look fuuuuuuun.

Please to advise.

The Fortress of Solitude to replace the WTC towers in NY.

from BBC:

His plan envisaged a soaring spire a third of a mile high (1,776 feet), with hanging gardens and a shaft of sunlight that would penetrate the building each year on the anniversary at the moments when the hijacked planes struck on 11 September 2001.

What is this, a giant stonehenge of DOOM???

Speaking of which, "Invader Zim" is out on dvd finally, I found out perhaps belatedly. Yay.

Attention Nola Posse:

I'm saving. I have an account I am throwing money into every month. When it is full enough to pay for me and Mr. Kallisti to travel to New Orleans in style, here we come.

I'm hoping Christmas or Spring.

Mr. Kallisti gave me indication that he has resigned himself to traveling by train with me when he brought home travel versions of Yahtzee and Boggle. Eeeeeeeeeeee! I hate flying. It makes me die.

So yeah, since I'd like for us to travel in a cabin, it will cost a lot of money. But be very romantic and lovely and full of food and sleeping even if it is a little cramped in our standard cabin closet. I love traveling by train. It is three days to New Orleans and I find most people aren't as serene as I am when it comes to train travel. I usually go coach, and bring a big bottle of nyquil and lots of books and books on tape. It is awesome.

Choo-choo!

I just wanted to give my Nola gang a heads up! Don't know if we're gonna hit you up for floor space or save additional for The Biscuit Palace yet. If we have enough dosh I'd love to stay in the Quarter. Mmmm.

For those who don't know, I spent two GLORIOUS years in New Orleans age 27-29, living with Marquis & our friend Michele. I consider it my last hurrah of sorts. I haven't lived that large since. Even on $6.25 an hour at a perfume shop. And I haven't been back since Halloween 2001 after going almost twice a year for three years. I spent all of 2002 courtin' Mr. Kallisti who was 3000 miles away in Michigan, and then he moved out here, we got married and got real broke.

But I'm goin' back. Mr. Kallisti has to see the glory that is the swampy nether regions of the country. I would love to live there, and definately plan to retire there. Swamp and booze is good for old people.

me, Halloween in New Orleans, 2001. Very. Very. Drunk.

Remember Fluffy? The kitten we tried to save?

Well, I got a little certificate with her name on it yesterday saying she's had a "burial in the country" in a field somewhere in the north bay. It is super nice they don't take the poor little froofy fluffs out to the dump.

I am grateful.

Marlon Brando is dead.

Stolen from everybody, 20 Questions:

You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you Paul Begala. You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to.

You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.

Who's "Paul Begala"? *sneaks off to google*

Ok, I had my first eye exam in five years and I think the first time my eyes have been dilated since I was 5 years old. Um, when I made the appointment they told me I could drive afterwards.

HELLO!?!? I'm blind and cannot see. I cannot see the face of my cellphone and any light brings my eyes tightly shut.

Typing this is hard but I'm doing it anyway.

So yeah, I called work and said "I'm blind!!! I'm sorry..." and will be sitting in a very dark room for the rest of the day.

I SAW PICTURES OF THE INSIDE OF MY EYEBALL. So rad. I asked him if I could have a copy, but no such luck. Also, I have astigmatism now. Weee! Need to wear glasses more consistantly. Poop.

But I also wanted point out a very interesting link that nicely dissects the very popular and near hysterical rantings of Christopher Hitchens that nay sayers have been tossing at yah everytime you care to mention the Farenheight 9/11 had merit. We can always count on Hollywoodbitchslap.com for some fair and unbiased opinion.

Also, this: "Christopher Hitchens collects check from Microsoft and calls Moore a coward."

And also, if you haven't seen the film, sit the fuck down. I have seen so many arguments where people are led astray by the likes of Hitchens when it is VERY clear no such thing was said or meant by the film. Whatever your political bias see the film and form your own opinion.

"Michael Moore may be an ass, and impossible to like as a public figure, and a little loose with the facts, and greedy, and a shameless panderer. But he wouldn't be necessary if even one percent of the rest of us had any balls at all. " - Matt Taibbi

Michael Moore has his problems, but the majority of the info contained in the film is a matter of public record, it is only his interpretation of a very long string of facts. I do think the film was very tastefully done as well, which goes a long way with me. Very little gratuitous theatrics and carnage... except for driving around the congressional buildings in an icecream truck reading the "Patriot Act" on a loudspeaker. That was hilarious and made me happy.

EDIT: Thanks to my angry friends on Feeverte.net Forums for the links. Rock!

Alright, I end this rant with a picture of Demelza with her new eyelashes. I love the drama, but they might be too dramatic for her. So lovely though. MMmmmm.

If the pic is out of focus, I apologize, I can't tell.

According to the belief-o-matic I'm:

I was born 1968 in Berkeley. So shoot me.

Lookie what a good girl I am, MORE EBAY! No hoarding!

Please to shop. More coming later this week.

And finally got my feedback cleared up. Apparently the woman meant to leave it for someone else *cough* and so we mutually agreed to nullify the feedback and I refunded her #@&!#! money.

$5 paypal:

I've got three packs of Silky Kanekalon hair from ragdolly in white, light turq blue and light pink. Only the turquoise I think was cut into just the tiniest bit, all 3 in original package and has been sitting in the envelope ragdolly sent it to me in for 1.5 years. $5 pays for shipping and its yours!

Just bought Friday night tickets for "Farenheit 9/11" to see with a sold out angry Berkeley audience. Wooo.

I am *so* in the mood. Fuckers.

I ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's "double hunka chunky monkey fudge" last night.

dang.

Had a busy weekend. Rearranged and cleaned the house Saturday. Trying to make room for a small exercise bike in my very tiny and quaint living room. So we packed up an entire shelf of videos and dvd's... and put in the garage. Sigh. Still, nice to thin out the crap a little. Then we made tacos. YARM. I'm a nut for making salsa, and I had these fat organic tomatoes too. And lots of jalapeno, si! And then we watched "Yokai Monsters Volume 1" which was really cool and very silly. Yay for Japanese monster movies. Unfortunately I feel asleep near the end, which brings me to my next paragraph:

On Friday my doctor ordered me to get a sleep test done for Sleep Apnea, to try to address my head fuzziness and daytime sleepiness. If the test is positive that will go a long way to explaining a lot of my issues, and perhaps even the panic/anxiety itself. It will also save me from a brain scan. Honest, I don't want anything to be wrong with my brain. That would be freaky.

And then Sunday was my nephew's ninth birthday party (and I snuck in a Happy Father's Day card for my dad). That went swimmingly. He's old enough for dangerous and complicated toys now, very cool.

Got into a discussion with my stepmother about a paper she's giving on 19th century epitaphs at one of the big glam cemeteries in Colma. If'n you don't know, my parents are cemetery historians and retired archeologists. She was saying how strange it was how sentimental and lyrical the epitaphs for little girls were compared to any others, including young boys. And I said something to the effect that the Victorians had a very romantic view towards childhood, and had a curious sentimentality for little girls. She rambled off a couple that were so gorgeous and haunting I told her she should publish a book entitled "Epitaphs for Little Girls" and she said only if I illustrated it XD.

She could totally do it, and I believe would actually be marketable to the "Dark Carnival" crowd etc.

I'll have to bone up on my dead girl etchings.

And speaking of dead girls, had a dream le Marquis came into a convention hall I was working at hollering for a dolly and an ambulance. When neither showed up he came back in hauling large THINGS and saying they still needed to call 911. I went outside to see what the problem was and there were two tiny girls lying in the gutter. They were extremely emaciated and had no eyelids. Their nanny said I could help by trying to talk to them and keep them calm. The wee girl I was talking too, her open eye kept sticking to the pavement when she'd turn her head. Then the ambulance came and whisked them away and their nanny turned into Fluffy the kitten, everyone left and I was left holding Fluffy and sobbing, sitting alone on the curb.

Mr. Kallisti says that maybe I've been neglecting my girls (Fifi & Demelza) as I haven't had the time to play with them in weeks.

and while I've noticed I'm playing with my girls less while on meds, just looking into Demelza's eyes brings me such peace. I can't even begin to describe... I have her on my desktop at home and work, just look into her eyes.

I'm almost done with her profile, thanks to Hespeth & Bat for the horoscope! Check out Bat's original astrological profile, hilarious! I'm workin' up a shorter version.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." - Charles Dickens

This has been the happiest year of my life.

And yet... sometime in early March I spontaneously developed acute Panic Disorder. Funny thing is I'm not stressed, I'm not depressed, I pass all the stress tests, I'm happier and more contented than I've ever been. And yet...

Every day is a struggle. It is a fight to get up in the morning, a fight to go to work, to stay at work. I'm still not seeing friends much. Limiting social contacts to family and brief encounters with people.

The medication is finally starting to work. I've been popping tiny half tablets of Xanax just to walk a few blocks to get coffee. I make sure I have a mental laundry list of things to think about while I'm walking. I find not staring at my feet as I walk helps. But not always. But I can't stop going on walks. Because that creates a precident, and suddenly I will panic about thinking about going on my walk to get my coffee.

And yet... panic still comes like a thief. It is like a shot of ice in my brain, I hyperventilate without breathing hard and my extremeties go cold. It feels like you're dying.

My therapist says to just remember it is the "fight or flight" chemicals firing off in my brain. She says to think of the cave men fleeing from saber tooths.

But I think I'm dying. It's an aneurism, a heart attack, my head is squeezing and ice is surging through my veins. Why won't they give me a cat scan?

Mr. Kallisti hands me a paper bag and tells me to breath.

It works. It really works. I'm not dying, within minutes I feel better, but I clutch that bag for an hour. Breathing.

There's no reason for this. I'm not fighting my treatment, I'm a good girl and doing everything I can. But they only thing that really seems to help are the drugs I'm not supposed to take very often for fear of addiction. And staring at the sky. That helps.

I quit drinking caffeine ("May I have one medium, lowfat, decaf iced latte please?" is my usual order at Peet's) and most sugar. Good things but neither seemed to impact.

I've got excess adrenaline coursing through my veins from the moment I wake up in the morning. Feels like I took a handfull of Sudafed. But it has been six weeks on the anti-depressants (and I'm not depressed, dammint!) and I'm thinking, I'm hoping that they are finally starting to work.

I feel a bit more relaxed. Accept for the squeeze on my head, it feels like a headache without the pain. That never goes away.

Official info from WebMD (favorite destination of the neurotic):

Did you wonder what was up with today's Google logo!?!?

It's Bloomsday! In James Joyce's novel "Ulysses" June 16th, 1904 was the day Leopold Bloom perigrinated, sometimes drunkenly, through Dublin. Today is the 100th anniversary and it almost makes me want to go back and reread it. But I think I sold my copy for beer allowance when I was living in New Orleans. How apropos.

Sometimes Joyce is easier to read about, so I will not hold it against you if you go for some critical essays on the subject. I love reading about literature.

Or go completely shorthand and check out a fab film "James Joyce's Women" as well as "Nora" (or read the Bio, I did).

If you're really brave go straight to the meat of the matter and check out Joyce's *cough* erotic letters to his wife. They're SAUCY!

Um... "Doggy Poo." Netflix has it. Run don't walk.

Based on a popular Korean children's book, Doggy Poo is a gorgeous claymation short film about a seemingly insignificant piece of doggy poo (the lowest form of poo, we are led to believe) who learns the difficult lessons about the cycle of life and the vagaries of the Wheel of Fortune.

No really.

Here's the OFFICIAL SITE. And check it out, this guy has BACKGROUNDS. Rock.

Need bonnet patterns. I can adapt the pattern that I already have, but it was a little funky, so I thought I'd put a call out for bonnet patterns, scans and book titles welcome. Must be in in this vein:

(pulled from YJapan auction, may god forgive me)

I have a hard drive full of silly pictures of myself. And since I'm a leo I don't have much problem sharing them from time to time. Woo.

I hereby swear that I will keep my dolly porn pix behind lj cuts and mt-extended entries. I do not want anyone to get fired from their job for becoming publicly aroused by my dollies.

Went and saw Harry Potter yesterday. I saw the other two on video but this one I was really interested in seeing the theater, as it was directed by Alfonso Cuarón of "Y tu Mama" fame. I thought maybe a shot of Harry & Ron ejaculating into some gothic fountain would have been a nice touch, but I wasn't that lucky.

Oh, but I loved it, I really really loved it. The art direction was fantash and actually had me gasping and squirming with delight at many parts. Gorgeous and spooky and crusty and so many gothic arches and screwlies and dusty tomes, and naturalistic light instead of the well-lit, freshly scrubbed, pseudo disneyesque gothique of the other two films. The storyline was a bit more adult as well which leant itself very well to the starkness of the the plot.

Oh, um, and the best thing? The cast. It is, of course, what saved the other two pictures, but I was squealing in my seat when I realized Michael Gambon had taken over for poor Richard Harris. Absolutely FAB. Not to mention Emma Thompson, Gary Oldman and David Thewlis. Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! I almost bought a Lupin figure last night because it was a teensy tiny David Thewlis. Woot.

Um, and this week on Video...

Watched "Girl with a Pearl Earring" last week and was SO surprised. I was expecting it to be disappointing but I was heart poundingly thrilled with it. It is absolutely stunningly gorgeous. Again, art direction and costume are the winners here. You will die. If you care at all about the Northern Renaissance go. see. now. Scrum! I thought I'd be super annoyed by Scarlett Johansen (although I like her in other stuff) but since she hardly says a word and just has to look demure, surprised and frightened through most of it, and she does these painfully well with big moist cherry red lips, she was very appealing. I say fuck the critics (again).

It is slowly and delicately paced, and doesn't have an ending a hollywood audience would have voted for. But I like that. I really do.

I will own this movie. Yup. I want to lick the screen.

Saturday I got my latest Volks order. And DAMMINT. I ordered a tan a head to go with my tan excellent body and it is a very strong shade lighter than the body! I'm going to try and just dust it up with high coloring and seal it, but I can't believe how much off they are, and I bought them within a month of eachother. But I also got lots of other stuff, black bra & panty set FINALLY. Yay. And eyelashes and wigs and stuff.

Um, also, will be doing more ebay because I had to order some of the Ajumapama boots from Karin. So cool. Retail. Regular US shipping.

But I have to cover my expenditure with ebay. Yay.

I got my first stupid negative feedback on ebay. GRRRRRRRRRRR.

Some girl didn't get her volks body, she emailed me after 2 weeks and I said wait a week and if you still don't have her I will refund. She said she'd wait til June 1st. June 1st comes and goes and no sign from her. I'd hoped she'd gotten her doll. So I email her back asking if she'd gotten it with a nice note saying I just wanted her to be happy. Today I scanned my feedback and she'd left this:

never got the doll poor communication

Poor communication!?!?! I responded to EVERY email, and my first response was that I was willing to give a refund. @*#&@^^%#@~!!!

I had perfect feedback.

I did a response and a followup, and wrote her a calm but terse email. Well, I think I only said "ass" once.

godess207, you are a bad person and may your pillows smell like old trout for all eternity.

I enjoy being reduced to a cocktail recipe.